Me Want Food
by Xela Xe
Summary: It would all be so much easier if Daniel would just stop eating.


Things would be so much easier if Daniel would stop eating.

Jack tried to concentrate on the simpering IOA big wig sitting beside him, but Daniel had just discovered the butter-glazed asparagus. And apparently decided it was the best food on the planet. Jack clenched his jaw as the thick stalk disappeared into Daniel's mouth, his lips closing around the tip.

"Colonel?" the Chinese ambassador called. Jack pasted on one of his more obscure smiles, tinged just a bit with the desperation he was feeling. He toned it down when the woman blanched, her own smile turning nervous and shaky.

He _hated_ these diplomatic parties.

No matter how hard he tried, Jack's eyes invariably strayed to Daniel. This dinner was tedious and mind-numbing, and Daniel was the most interesting thing in the world. Even when he wasn't having sex with his food. OK, so he wasn't being that obvious. He might even be eating normally, but...

Jack glanced at Daniel and almost choked on his drink. Daniel had ordered the New York strip, very rare. And he was showing that steak the appreciation it deserved. Daniel's eyes slid closed, his lips wrapped around his fork, and Jack could hear his moan of contentment from the other side of the table. Some of the juice dribbled down Daniel's chin, and Jack had to bite back his own groan when Daniel's pink tongue snuck out to lap up what he could, turning his bottom lip shiny. Instead of using a napkin like a civilized person, Daniel sopped up the rest of the juice with his thumbed and _sucked on it_.

"Are you unwell, O'Neill?"

Jack pulled himself out of his stupor. "Just peachy, Teal'c," Jack replied tightly, draining his water glass. No more watching Daniel. It was bad for his health.

Jack was concentrating so hard on not watching Daniel it took complete silence for him to realize he was also ignoring everyone else.

"Sorry, cat's got my tongue," he said with a charming grin. His eyes invariably met Daniel's, who was shaking with mirth. Bastard. Daniel said something in Greek or Spanish and everyone chuckled. Daniel smirked at Jack, who scowled back. Daniel's expression turned devious and Jack had no chance to prepare himself for the sight of Daniel licking whipped cream off of his spoon.

Slowly.

Thoroughly.

With way more tongue action than was called for.

With a wink and a pleased smirk Daniel went back to his inane conversation with whatever delegate had caught his attention. Jack shifted, uncomfortably aware of the reaction Daniel's little seduction as having on him. Daniel was going to pay for this little stunt. People were staring at Daniel now, their beady little eyes watching Jack's anthropologist in ithat/i way now.

...But that didn't mean they had to continue staring at Daniel. A slow smile stretched over Jack's face, the same smile that had sent System Lords running for the hills. Oh Daniel. Daniel, Daniel, Daniel.

Jack pushed away his plate and concentrated on his dessert. A swirled swizzle stick topped a three layer dark chocolate cake with ice cream on the side. Much more deadly than Daniel's cheesecake.

Jack started with the swizzle stick. He wrapped his lips around it, closed his eyes, and sighed happily. Oh yeah, that was good, the way the outer shell crumbled and gave into the chocolate on the inside. The flavor exploded on his tongue and she let out a happy, content noise. So good. He savored every inch of that swivel stick until there was nothing left.

He turned his attention to the cake, determining the best way to attack it.

He picked up his fork (much better than a spoon, you could see tongue between the prongs and Jack was pulling out the big guns here) and spun the plate around, looking for his point of entry. Jack carefully sliced off a piece of cake, making sure it was dripping with sauce. A drop started falling off. His tongue darted out to catch the errant drop before shoveling the rest of it in.

So good. Way better than some of the dubious 'delicacies' they'd endured off world. This was moist and rich and _perfect_. He savored every single bite of that cake, occasionally mixing it with his vanilla ice cream, the sticky mess frequently requiring him to lick his fingers.

When he was done, everyone was silent and staring. Daniel looked stunned. Jack sat back and enjoyed a well-planned mission, and started thinking about what he'd be doing with Daniel after they got out of here.

* * *

**A/N:** If you're watching my account and looking from updates from me, I'm going to suggest you either go to my personal website for future updates, or look me up on LiveJournal. (You can find a link to those sites from my bio profile.) I'm doing this because is a) a pit of despaire where bad fic comes to flourish and b) not a place that allows mature/adult content, and I'd like to not continue breaking their TOS, however badly moderated and policed this place is.


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